APPENDIX
2
project
lesson plans
Introduction
The following lessons
plans were constructed prior to program implementation and evaluated by Allen
Jackson and Vance Drum as seen in appendix 1.[124] They
were used as guides throughout the program's seven sessions. Each lesson had an objective, a devotion,
and a guide on how and when to present the overheads. The format and
layout were designed to aid the director in the presentation.
Essentially and unless
otherwise noted, at the beginning of each session the participants were given a
set of handouts that were duplicates of most of the overheads and the substance
of appendix 3. During the first
session, the participants were given a manila envelope so that they could keep
track of the accumulating lesson handouts.
At the close of the last session, a colored coversheet and table of
contents were given, and the accumulated handouts were stapled together into a
handbook.
At the end of each
session, a homework assignment of two parts was given for the first six sessions. The first homework assignment was for
the participant's personal application of the day's lesson. The second homework assignment was a
discrimination exercise. In the exercise,
the participants were asked to read a helping scenario and rank each of four
different responses.[125] The
homework assignments were reviewed on the following Saturday in a facilitated
class discussion.
Throughout the
presentation of the program, the director chronicled his observations and
reflections on the use of the lesson plan and the responses to the class
presentations and interaction. Those
observations were placed in appendix 8.
Program Lesson Plans
Day 1: Part 1: The Foundation--Overview and Attending
Skills Time: 3 hours
Objective: To help students understand the entire
program and to develop their ability to use attending skills set #1 of body
language through instruction, observation, and use in class
[Before
the program began, place manila folders on the participants' tables and have #1.1: Title[126] showing. After everyone has entered, the director
will lead in a prayer.]
[Present
blank overhead. Ask the participants to
share why they are here. On a blank
overhead write the responses for everyone to see.]
[Present
#1.2: Devotion #1: Biblical Love.]
In reply to the question as to which
law was the greatest, Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-40,
"Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
mind." This is the first and
greatest commandment. And the second is
like it: "Love your neighbor as
yourself." All the Law and the
Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Love is the supreme and principal
Christian virtue. As love is
defined throughout the Bible [point to the examples in the overhead], notice
how love empowers and becomes the most significant force behind all healthy
relationships. Notice that we emphasize
"healthy." If a person is to
be truly healthy, and live a balanced life, then that person will be loving God
and loving his or her brother.
The key to the healthiest life and the
most fulfilling life is love. Love of
God and of each other. As Matthew said,
these are the two greatest commandments.
More than that, all of the law is fulfilled in those commandments to
love. And even more than that, God
himself is love.
From these passages we come to
understand that love is the supreme, the principal Christian virtue. Love becomes the single most important
guiding factor in all of our life. In
our spiritual life, love should be the uppermost focus. In our life among others on this earth, love
should be the uppermost focus.
What then is this love? How do you know when it takes place? What are the components or the behaviors
that say, "Hey, this person loves me"?
When love is exhibited, care is
extended to a person. In order to love
from the heart, we must know the
loved person. To know the loved person,
we must listen to their inner struggles.
Only as we come to know the
loved one--and only then--can we learn how
to love him or her. So in order to
truly love people, we must know how
to listen to their inner struggles.
If one does not hear the inner
struggles of the loved person, one will not be able to see the inner needs of
the loved person. Getting to know
someone takes time, patience, and endurance.
Until you or I have the courage to listen and hear the inner struggles
of our brothers and sisters, how can we say that we love them?
Therefore, listening is one of the
most important facets to love. As you
listen in love, you liberate the hurting person. When you wisely love and wisely listen to a hurting person, that
person will slowly become liberated from their burden. Here is a key principle that can illustrate
how listening liberates:
[Present
#1.3: Love, Listening, Liberating
Principle.]
When we divide love and listening by wisdom,
we will liberate our brothers and
sisters.
Love is the supreme virtue. Listening is one of the most significant
skills of love, for in listening we come to understand the loved one. Let me say it this way: only
by listening will we come to understand the loved one. As we understand, we are enabled to love
them more deeply in proportion to our knowledge of their needs.
This is easy and imponderable at the
same time. Love and listening, divided
by wisdom, will liberate the loved one.
This is the nature of helping to carry
your brother's burden. When we
offer ourselves to each other in crisis and in victory, we can joy and cry
together. This is the essence of
love. To be heard by others and to hear
others in their inner most struggles--and
to walk with them in their struggles‑‑this is love.
We can all listen a little. We all listen to some extent. Listening is one skill of love, and we can
always learn more about this skill.
Because listening is one of the skills of love, as we improve our
listening skills, we shall also improve our ability to express love.
That is what this program will
do: it will help you improve your
listening skills. With the improvement,
our ability to express love will increase.
Listening is the key to helping and
learning the needs of others. The
following exercise should reveal what you believe about listening. Everyone can learn to listen better.
Listening involves at least three
fundamental areas: (1) a foundation in
attending, (2) an interpersonal bridge of self-disclosure, and (3) the
connection of empathy. The program will
involve training in these three parts.
[Ask the participants to share what
they think they will learn in the program from looking at the three parts of
the program.]
Empathy is so rich. Anyone who has known true love has seen some
kind of empathy. Empathy is an
intensive way of listening. Both
listening and empathy are parts of love and are actions of love. When we listen and listen deeply and from
the heart, we are loving. When we try
to place ourselves in the shoes of others‑‑empathizing‑‑we are loving. Let's look at what others have said about walking in your
brother's shoes.
Notice the focus on the other person
and the naturalness. Empathy, like
ministry, is a way of life, a way of being with people. While empathy is a skill, someone who truly
loves will express or attempt to express empathy as a natural way of
relating. Someone who does not love
cannot express true empathy.
Walking in someone's shoes is a
skill. A con man can have this skill,
and his agenda will be to get what he can out of the other person's shoes as he
walks in them. But someone who loves
walks in another person's shoes in order to understand, and then they would use
that understanding to help.
These may appear to be complicated
right now, especially if you are not normally very empathic. This prison environment is certainly not
built to foster much empathy, and at times the environment is anti-empathic. Nevertheless, as you saw in the program outline, this is where we
will be going.
This week, read and look over these,
then just set them aside. We will look
at them at a later time in the program.
Suffice it to be said that empathy is the ability to walk in
someone else's shoes.
[Prepare
a student beforehand to share with the director an important experience as the
director exhibits non-attending behavior.
The student is instructed to keep on talking despite the poor attending
behavior of director. Afterwards, the
students are asked to share their impressions of non-attending behavior.]
Body language includes posture, eye
contact, hand positions, and other body movements. Some estimates indicate that 85% of our communication is
nonverbal.[127] That means that "What we say" is
not nearly as important as "how we say it."
Culturally appropriate body language
will vary from individual to individual and from culture to culture. A good listener will gauge how close he or
she can come and what affect touching may have. Some people like and need some kind of touching that others will
find offensive. What experience do you
have of a different culture's body language, eye contact, and use of
touching? [Facilitate discussion.]
The acronym, "S-O-L-E-R,"[128] can be used to
summarize the first set of attending skills.
[Explain each item.]
Your assignment this week is to record
your observations on attending skills, set #1:
body language. This is a seeing
and doing exercise. Throughout the
week, observe the body language of those around you in your job, recreation, or
living quarters. As you observe them,
record your observations on a few persons.
Answer the questions on your worksheet.
You can use any interaction you observe of any person. Do not use personal names.
Here is an example of poor
attending:
I saw these two brothers talking.
One was clearly excited. But the
other was saying, "Ok, ok, that's great," but he just continued to
look down and away. His body language
was clearly revealing that he was anxious to leave. His mind was on something else.
Read this exercise over several times
today. Throughout the week, look for
examples to record. You might think
about writing several on the scratch sheets of paper, then recording them later
for class use. Be prepared to share
your observations. You may use any
interaction you observe on the unit, only do not share the personal names in
class.
However, do start today. This is not as easy as it sounds. Listening is hard work, and attempting to
record your listening is even harder work.
Notice that these are observations of positive and negative behaviors
of people (not judgments of people) and observations of your own positive and
negative actions and behaviors.
The best way to get the most out of
the program is to go over the material during the week. Look at the material several times.
Look at this discrimination
exercise. Think hard on this before you
complete it. This is difficult. The best way is to read all of the responses
before deciding, and then look for the worst response. When you have found the worst response, mark
a
"1" in the space.
Then choose the best response and mark
a "4" in the space. Then
chose the next best response and mark a "3" in the space and so
forth.
Remember that this is a helping skills
exercise. You should not talk over the responses during the
week with others in the program until you have worked through them yourself
first. After you have worked through
them, you can talk about them.
Do not talk over the responses with
anyone else that is outside of the program.
Do take your time on this. To discriminate in this manner takes some
hard thinking and deep feeling.
The best way to get the most out of
the program is to go over the material every week. There will be a lot of material accumulating, and the whole
program is progressive. That means it
will get a little harder as we move into the use of empathy skills. So to maximize your learning, take some time
to review each day's material before the following sessions commence. Good luck and God's blessings to you.
Day 2: part 1: The Foundation--Attending Skills Set #2 Time: 3
hours
Objective: To help students develop their ability to
use attending skills sets #1 and #2 through instruction and by use of case
study scenarios in class
In John 15, Jesus talked at length
about love. By obeying him, we remain
in his love just as Christ remained in his Father's love. More than this though, Jesus commands us to
love just as he himself loved.
That is a tall order. Not only does he command us to love, but
Jesus also gives us an example of the kind of love he expects. The kind of love that Jesus expects is not
simply the fulfilling of the commandments.
The kind of love that Jesus expects is more than the fulfilling
of the commandments.
The commandments demand that we do and
not do some things. But Jesus goes
beyond them all and gives us the highest example of love.
My
command is this: Love each other as I
have loved you. Greater love has no one
than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
There
is little question about the meaning of this verse. No translation of the Bible confuses this verse. Everyone knows what it means. There is no greater love than the giving of
one's life.
More than money and gifts, when we
give someone our time, we are giving someone of our life. When you sit and listen with an attending
and non-judgmental attitude, when you or I give someone else a listening and
attentive ear‑‑we are giving a piece of our time, a piece of our
life.
When we talk, talk, talk‑‑we
are not giving our time. We are making
expectations or selling something or trying to give advice. When we are talking and talking and talking‑‑we
are not giving our
time. We are consuming the time
of others.
But when we listen. When we are attending to another without
judgment and without giving of advice.
When we just exhibit an interest, we are giving of our time. When we give our time and just listen, we
are giving a piece of our life to another.
When the person we are listening to is
hurt and frustrated‑‑and not just giving us advice‑‑then
when we are listening and attending to their pain, we are saying that for this
particular time you are the most important person to me. When we listen without judgment, we are
saying that your life is more important than my life at this time.
This is the gift of my life to
another. This is loving. Just listening is the gift of your life to
another for the time being.
[124]Q.v., appendix 1 for copies of the evaluations by Jackson and Drum.
[125]Adapted from Robert Carkhuff and Don Benoit, Trainer's Guide for The Art of Helping VII (Amherst, MA: Human Resource Development, 1993): 109-21. See appendix 3, overheads #1.10b, #2.7b, #3.10b, #4.5b, #5.6b, and #6.7b.
[126]All of the numbered items refer to both an overhead and a handout. Throughout the program, whenever mention is made about the presentation of a numbered item, an overhead and handout designated by the same number will have already been given or given at the time the overhead is presented.
[127]Ivey, Basic Attending Skills 19.
[128]Egan, The Skilled Helper, 5th ed., 108-109.